So, I walked up into one of the small parks in the business district in North West, near the White House. I can never remember the names of these parks. Anyway, I found me a reasonably comfortable position, and actually fell asleep for about an hour. I was awakened by the small voice of an East Indian man. “Sir”, “sir”. “Hello”? He finally got my attention. As I awoke, I pulled down my shades (I wear them to keep people from staring you in the eye), and he says to me: “There is some food in the red van across the park.” I said Thank you to him with a curious look on my face. Here was a man, a total stranger, not to mention from a totally different culture that was offering me food. I thought, “How nice”. As I walked over, I found an East Indian family or friends of about 6 in number. This included a little boy of about 8 years old passing out bottled water. I waited in line, and as I glanced in the back of their van, I saw what appeared to be dozens and dozens of lunches packed neatly in styrofoam containers. The procession was so neat an orderly. The women had it down pat. You could tell that they had done this before. I was given a lunch packed neatly in a plastic bag, along with a smaller paper bag inside which included some cheese crackers and eating utensils, wrapped neatly in a napkin for sterility. I was so impressed. As I carried my lunch back to the bench I had been asleep on, I asked another guy that had received one of the lunches and was chowing down, if it was good. He said yes. Very. I responded, cool. I sat down opened it up, and it smelled sooooo good! A mixture of potatoes, rice, beans, and something else that I could not identify. As I began to eat, I couldn’t stop thinking about how good it was. I had eaten East Indian food many times, but this was much different. A home cooked meal. Outstanding!

As I finished, I put my plastic bag and the contents in a nearby trash can. Then, being so impressed with the little, but at the same time mass lunch serving, went over to the red van. As I approached they were doing what appeared to be the clean up and departure scenario. I had to let the family know who good their food was, and especially so, since they do not use meat. I let the females know how appetizing it was and that I never missed the meat that was absent. But my real reason for approaching them was to ‘thank’ them for their anonymous kindness, for taking the time to help those that could not help themselves. I also thanked them for all the ones that did ‘not’ take the time to say thank you. Some grabbed bagged lunches, turned heels, and departed. I apologized for them, and told the family to not take it personally as many of these people have led hard lives, and how many had struggled to survive the previous night. They graciously accepted the compliment and departed. How humanitarian.

There are many times that I often wished that I had the physical resources (i.e. car or van) and monies to be able to do the same thing. If I had a million dollars in my possession, being the person that I am, I know that probably 75% of it would probably go to the many that cannot help themselves. I’ve always had the proverbial ’soft spot’ in my heart for the “under-dog” in life.

Sigh! A nice dream!

Last night while finding my normal “roost for rest” for the night at the Greyhound bus station, I stood outside in the cold to watch the “sights”. It’s amazing sometimes what goes on between the hours of 1 and 5 a.m. in the morning, when most normal, self-respecting persons are in bed.

Last night, Friday night, the “Drag-Queens” were out in full force making their money. Now even though I don’t swing that way at all, I still find it humorous to watch them. “Big Queens”, “Lil Queens”, “In-Between-Queens”……all types! The “costumes”, for lack of a better term, make the show worth watching! LOL……phew! Where do they get some of these ideas? The object I’ve found just by watching, like “normal” prostitutes…..the object is to be SEEN on the SCENE! The six inch stilletto boots, the super short “Daisy Dukes”, the big faux designer bags, the multi-colored wigs (with a alternate/change in the purse - so that “she” can become another person if the “look” is not working for the night!) LOL

What’s even more funny is the number of “straight” guys that come out of the “straight” clubs after partying with the “real” females that patronize these queens! Who would have ever thunk it? You see them creeping around, circleling around until they finally “find’ what they want, pick it up quickly (around the corner) and pull off. Amazing. Just like regular prostitution, you see same “ho” back on the block 10 minutes later. Nothing different.

On a different tip, on my daily trip to the library to write this blog, while waiting for my computer session to come up, I made my normal trip to the “john” to make a deposit. It always cracks me up, that the library opens at 9:30 a.m. every morning. It’s like a stampede for the homeless people to get in to make a mad dash for the restrooms. During this “visit”, lol, I never find it anything less than amuzing to listen to what goes on in the stall next to me. Sometimes its sheer agony! The grunting and the groaning. Man! The guy next to me you could tell was in obvious “pain”, yet relief! “Oh God!, Oh God! Ummmph!” He says! All I could think, was what did he have last night for dinner?! Sometimes, you can hear someone “eating” in a stall. Gross. But since there is no eating allowed in the Public Library, a bathroom stall is the only private place sometimes for them to eat their meals sometimes. So you hear the crackling of paper, slurping and the likes sometimes.

Then there are times when you may find an occasional “whacker”! To be blunt, and keep it real…..he’s masturbating in the stall next to you. I guess since he doesn’t have a home to go to, and can’t do it anyplace else, this is the next best thing. It’s funny as hell. Sometimes you can see the “hand puppet” on the flooor. Up, and down. Faster and faster. Slow….then fast. Then…suddenly….the heavy breathing! And finally the sigh. (Hope it was good for you fella!) LOL

I do find that some of the club members are nosy tho. You see….the bag that I carry to the gym is quite large for obvious reasons. Everything that I own pretty much is on my back! So I have to keep all of these items with me: A couple of changes of clothes, underwear, socks, soap, washcloth, deodorant, toothpaste/brush. The list goes on. It is a tremendous burden to lug it around all day.

The bag has produced a dark mark on my right shoulder that is tender to the touch.

I know no-one will probably ever read my thoughts here, or for that matter probably ever care if they did actually read it.    I guess it’s just for me to keep my sanity. “Dear Diary:”….. LOL

I had enough money to get two double cheeseburgers from McDonalds yesterday.  The only thing, they are very high in calories and fat. Not good for the waist or ol ticker!  Even though being in this state and condition, I always try to eat right and take care of myself.   But it’s what I could afford, and it kept my stomach from growling.    Besides, $2.20 for the two sandwiches. Where else can you buy dinner for that!? LOL….(I have to laugh to keep from crying)

I consider myself fortunate though, as some did not have what I had.

I’m eating breakfast at work now. Raiding our refrigerator. Like a smorgasboard….to me it is anyways. Left over bagels and cream cheese from the staffs instructional class that’s been going on for the last two weeks. It’s been saving my butt since I haven’t had much money to eat on lately. The left overs have been a godsend! The only problem, I only work part-time Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. And then only from 8-12 pm. So Tuesdays, Thursdays and weekends I have to fend for myself, or else carry what I can with me for the next day, like I do sometimes. I carry it in my gym bag with my clothes.   My bag can get to be  quite heavy at times.    I always get these strange looks from people, and the comment: “That sure is a big bag your’e carrying”!  (Of course they are just being nosey and want to know what’s in it….)

Emotions felt today:

Embarrasment

Last night it rained cats and dogs. I managed to make it to Union Station and chill for a while.  I watch everything.  You can learn a lot by observing….just watching, you know?

I left Union Station and made it to Greyhound at about 9:30 pm.  Drained my tank, (whew…just made it) and made myself comfortable and “inconspicuous” in the traveling crowd.  They have a new plasma television system at Greyhound! Who would have thought.  Go Greyhound!  Despite the weather with all the rain and all, the station was very busy. People coming and going…going and coming. I was tired last night. Slept in and out from the time that I got there. I remember getting up at around 2 am. Security comes thru to check the station.  ROBO COPS!  If you don’t have a ticket, you have to leave.  I made my way to the lobby to hang out till they left. Then sneak back in!

Why am i writing this, I ask myself. Then I remember…..oh……to keep my sanity! There are days that are good…..relatively. Then there are days that are bad….really bad.

I remember a time, not long ago, when I was doing really well for myself. Good government job. Nice apartment/condo. Nice car, good food, nice lifestyle.

Then the job left me, result of an assessment of the needs in the agency that I was employed with, found that my position, as well as approximately 100 others, was no longer needed. In actuality, we all found out later that the positions were needed, but in order to avoid a class action lawsuit, they had to get rid of us in a rather clandestine way…..and still make it look good.

We all lost out. So many affected. So many lives disrupted.

As a result, I personally, lost my place. Lost my car. You would think in the Nation’s capital that something like this would or should not happen. Not the case. After numerous attempts to find other employment, (still trying, searching daily) I lost everything. I was bitter for a while, but then reality set in, and I realized that I have to survive now. I’ve been homeless before, so it wasn’t such a blow this time.

It’s disconcerting to see, once again in the Nation’s capital, so many affected by the economy. The working and living poor I call them. So many just a step away from poverty. I consider myself fortunate that I know how to survive. But it’s tough. A daily battle.

Daily, there’s the struggle of where you will sleep, eat, bathe. Things that when you have, you take for granted. I cry daily for those that cannot help themselves. But then I realize, that I am just a step away from that. The only thing that separates me from them is that, my survival instincts have saved the day.

I’ve been hungry for two days now. It’s a struggle, especially without a vehicle to get up, from whereever you slept the night before, and make it to a place that serves food for the poor. For the last two nights, I could not make it to the place that I go to in time before they stopped serving. So….I went hungry. I made it today, phew! Thank you!

To be continued…….a day in the life.